Why do good families break up?
The psychology of relationships in the family is not an easy topic, psychologists devote a lot of time to it, conduct research, look for causes, consequences.
Let’s talk about the most common reasons leading to difficulties, misunderstanding in the family, lack of understanding:
The presence of an ideal image – the presence of a highly detailed ideal image makes it difficult to meet the necessary person in life. People often do not realize that we live in the real world, where ideals do not exist, spouses have advantages and disadvantages. These people seek to fit their spouse to the desired image, which is unlikely and leads to disappointment. Conclusion: to learn to love a person, not a ghostly image, to accept a loved one along with shortcomings.
If there is an image of an “ideal lady”, a “fairy prince”, the ship of love will be wrecked, collide with underwater reefs or an iceberg of distant fantasies.
Self-development and family will go together when a person understands the need for self-improvement, work on thoughts, images.
“Happiness depends on ourselves,” the great philosopher Seneca taught. He believed when the state of mind depends only on external factors – happiness is unreliable, illusive, you need to learn to feel the joy inside the soul, to develop and create around yourself.
It is important to learn to control yourself, thoughts, not to live in the power of things and circumstances. His teaching says that fate is never good or evil, the embryos of events are sent to us, and a person independently turns them into good or evil. Remember this in moments of sadness, maybe another person would happily accept the circumstances of your life. The complexities of life need to be addressed when they arise, and worrying about them is pointless, rather harmful.
Our life is the result of our thoughts. Philosophers and psychologists have repeatedly said – a person determines his life, achievements, aspirations, goals. Exaltation of thoughts, faith – leads to higher results. Without presenting victories and accomplishments, it is impossible to achieve them.
Self-development and family – are interconnected, like working on your world of thoughts, emotions, you need to try to bring good to loved ones, to believe in the family, which will make it stronger. Anger, discontent and aggression – only destroy the family, as well as humans, lead to disease.
Love and don’t interfere with another person’s life – an important issue encountered in family life is the desire to remake a spouse, make it convenient, fit into standards. The family is an association of two different people with special interests, hobbies, it is important to help and support each other, without imposing requirements. A person should always feel a breath of freedom in his realization, personal manifestations. Do not deprive your favorite important aspects of life.
Family is a source of inspiration! How is this possible? It is necessary to stop fighting with each other, showing pride, to demand a lot. Constant attacks and demands poison people’s lives and do not contribute to family happiness. It is permissible, while playing, to reproach, and then to show affection for each other, the main thing is to avoid anger, aggression.
Friendliness and gratitude are the key to a successful family! Often people comply with the standards of decency at work and break down on close people waiting at home. Understand that family is more important than work, this atmosphere helps or hinders the development of a career, can stimulate or inhibit career growth, success. Look for ways to restore mental comfort and relaxation.
It’s better to do cleaning than scolding at home, sports and various active activities contribute to stress relief, pleasant relaxing music – also produces a wonderful effect. It happens, and a bar of chocolate comes in handy, adds joy to life. Look for ways!
It is important to sincerely be interested in a spouse, affairs, concerns. At the initial stage of dating, this works great, and communication in the family is simply necessary, especially for women.
Less requirements, more praise. Any person is pleased to hear kind words, spouses are no exception. They want to know – they are the best, a woman in housekeeping, raising children, personal life, a man in raising funds, buying food, fixing and helping with the household. This stimulates the desire to do something more than criticism. It should be minimized, hidden behind good words.
Thank you always for your help, do not hesitate to ask you to do something if you do not have time. This is more true for women who drive themselves into a “tortured horse” state. Men like beautiful and attractive wives, therefore we learn to distribute time and load, it is important to do everything correctly, without unnecessary emotions.
Men to show gratitude can sometimes please their beloved spouse with flowers, sweets, going to the cinema or theater. A woman in response can find her ways – a delicious dinner, a romantic evening.
Avoid hostility and categorical judgments – they harm family happiness. It’s not worth asserting – a person is completely wrong, it’s better to calmly communicate your opinion, saying, “maybe so, let’s think together about this task, maybe it’s worth it …”