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What are the reasons and what to do if the children do not want to communicate with their father or mother after a divorce

Documents have already been received, announcing the dissolution of the marriage, the issue of the child’s residence has been resolved and the days and times of his meetings with one of the parents (mainly the father) have been appointed, the moments of the division of property have been settled and, it would seem, all the main burdens of divorce are already behind. But quite unexpectedly, a situation arises when the child flatly refuses to see his parent, whom the court has appointed to see.

Mother is at a loss and does not know what to think and how to behave in such a situation. In this case, there may be several motives that push the child to refuse dating.

– Perhaps, by such actions, the child makes attempts to support his father, who was abandoned by his mother. Especially if the child thinks that the divorce of his parents led to the suffering of his father, a close and dear person.

– Also, the reason for refusing to meet with the parent may be the fear of being alone with the “moron, moron, etc.”. When a departed parent is openly awarded with all the most unflattering epithets and appears as a monster, it is difficult for a child to decide and understand where the truth is.

– An 11–13-year-old teenager may consider “betrayal” a pleasant date for him with a man who betrayed his mother and him. Especially if the mother suffers greatly from the experienced divorce.

– The reason may be the behavior of the stepmother, who rejects dates of loved ones and sets the father against the child. Perhaps her jealousy is to blame.

– Perhaps the father after the divorce has changed a lot and has become especially demanding on his child, which prevents them from meeting.

– Maybe the child has experience of unsafe communication with one of his parents. Therefore, he is afraid of appointments, in which a tête-à-tête communication situation arises. To exclude situations related to violence, incest, you need to be especially vigilant and listen carefully to your child, analyze his words.

It is necessary to consult with close people to make sure of the reality of threats and, if necessary, it is necessary to create all conditions to ensure the safety of the child.

There are situations when some teenagers resort to manipulating their divorced parents to achieve some of their interests.

In the case when the character of one of the parents is stiff, the child is “burning with a desire” to go live with another parent, with whom it is easier to negotiate on all issues and which can allow more. To do this, he invents all kinds of stories and argues them with the words: “How can you live with her, she’s all bad, she washed me up with her discontent”, “He doesn’t need me at all, he’s not interested in my life!”

If the child refuses to meet with one of the parents, difficulties arise not only in the child, but also affect the layer with the personal experiences of adults in broken relationships. Offended by divorce, the mother, most likely, is satisfied with the child’s refusal to see her father. And often, unconscious actions will support the decision of the child.

But the child understands and feels that it is a continuation of his two parents – mom and dad. And if you forbid him to meet and love one of them, a feeling of “split” in half may come to him.

Each child needs positive ideas about his two parents. It is difficult to grow up with the thought that you are a son or daughter, who was born by a “fool” or raised by a “traitor” and at the same time achieve good life results.

After the parental divorce, serious changes have come about in the children’s world and consciousness, and two parents should be responsible for them – father and mother. To find the reason for refusing dates, its motivation is necessary through the joint efforts of loved ones. It is necessary to think over all options for maintaining good relations with the child. If parents have difficulty communicating with each other, it is necessary to call for help from an experienced psychologist.

Documents have already been received, announcing the dissolution of the marriage, the issue of the child’s residence has been resolved and the days and times of his meetings with one of the parents (mainly the father) have been appointed, the moments of the division of property have been settled and, it would seem, all the main burdens of divorce are already behind. But quite unexpectedly, a situation arises when the child flatly refuses to see his parent, whom the court has appointed to see.

Mother is at a loss and does not know what to think and how to behave in such a situation. In this case, there may be several motives that push the child to refuse dating.

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