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For most of us, shyness is a sign of something very sweet, kind, even plush. In our eyes, a shy person automatically becomes either a knight or a princess. But…

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Family Contract Basics Questionnaire
Questionnaire "Fundamentals of a family contract" - a list of questions developed by N.I. Kozlov for the prevention of disagreements in the family. Based on the Questionnaire, a Family Agreement…

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Family Contract Basics Questionnaire
Questionnaire "Fundamentals of a family contract" - a list of questions developed by N.I. Kozlov for the prevention of disagreements in the family. Based on the Questionnaire, a Family Agreement…

Continue reading →

Not expressed emotions as a source of problems

Emotion is an internal subjective attitude of a person to the ongoing processes that surround him. It can be both internal and external stimuli.

emotions as a source of problems
At this point in time, there are two different explanations for the origin of emotions:

physiological (represented by Kennon, James Lange)
psychological (represented by the works of V.P. Simonov)
The difference between these theories is a different understanding and interpretation of the various mechanisms that create the emotional background of a person.

In physiological theory, there are two currents that try to explain the processes of occurrence. The peripheral theory is well expressed in one of the most famous paradoxes and sounds like this: “We feel sad because we are crying; we are afraid because we are trembling. ” According to the authors of the theory, emotions are only a consequence of the transmission of impulses and excitation of internal organs. Fans of the central theory believe that bodily processes with emotions are only a biologically appropriate reaction aimed at adequately preparing the body for the situation.

Proponents of psychological theory, in contrast, believe that emotions arise as a result of a person’s needs, which appears in the process of realizing the potential for possible satisfaction on the basis of previous experience or information coming from outside.

As you can see, emotions as a process are so complex, not recognized and, without exaggeration, important that control over them is simply vital.

Emotions as a source of problems
Unfortunately, repressed emotions do not die. They were silenced. And they from the inside continue to influence the person. © Sigmund Freud

You can say that feeling emotions is natural, normal and even necessary. Indeed, emotions are one of those links in the giant chain that shapes each of us as a person, as an irreplaceable personality, as an individual. Love, joy, fear, anger, despair, admiration, generosity – all this is present in most people. Emotion is the same sought-after tool with which we can influence ourselves and others. With the help of them we interact with the outside world.

But what about the negative effects of the test emotions? What to do with the emotions that many of us, sometimes even for many years, keep within ourselves, trying not to show the slightest sign, or the slightest appearance of our feelings?

The reasons for the accumulation of unexpressed emotions can be voiced in different ways. But the reason for isolation is always one – fear. After all, fear is not just emotion, but the most complex interweaving of many feelings, an animal instinct, which not everyone can resist. Everyone’s fear is different. Most often, this is a fear of public manifestation, speaking to the public, manifesting oneself in society. Behind this is the fear that someone may see your true feelings, your feelings, concerns and regard this as weakness. People are inclined to consider the public manifestation of emotions as something indecent, as if the intimate part of their own self opens up to the eyes of strangers, exposing the essence.

Men are more susceptible to this fear, since the social model of raising boys from a very young age is aimed at hiding emotions. For example, remember how often you heard in the process of education that real men never cry? Meanwhile, the tears are a manifestation of feelings, a way to relieve stress and get an elementary emotional discharge, which needs independence from gender differences. The consequence of such misconceptions are early somatic pathologies in men. For example, cardiovascular diseases can occur by the age of 40, which is prohibitively early, even for such pathologies.

Emotions and Relationships
emotions as a source of problems
Unexpressed emotions continue to affect you and your loved ones, even when you forget about it. New suppressed feelings overlap with old ones, only exacerbating internal discomfort, which sooner or later turns into constant irritability and concern. Emotions accumulate their charge, as if in a battery ready to explode at any moment. As a result, close and dear to us people usually suffer from this. Indeed, despite the fact that we want to protect them, our beloved ones fall under a crushing surge of emotions that finally burst out.

Such emotional outbursts, which can lead to neurotic reactions in the future, is almost impossible to control. The result is the strongest family quarrels, problems at work, divorces and many other unpleasant things that could have been avoided without hiding your feelings initially. In this case, emotions become a source of problems. It is quite difficult to deal with an emotional outburst and you can come to the conclusion about the rationality of the approach, the essence of which is not to accumulate negative emotions in yourself.

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